‘Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.’ How ’bout when a man’s ego is torched?

1st post from the mini, after what seems like a gazillion years away from the blog.

Indeed how time flies!! So many happenings this year, some good, others, not so.

But hey, all things work out for the good for those who love him. No?

First meeting in JJ zone. Glad & grateful to have Johann not only as a zone supervisor, but also as a cell group leader. After all that’s happened in the past, how some dreams die, but new ones are birthed.

So…. What next? Honestly, I daren’t go beyond school days as I’m in the take things as they come phase. Learned not to be so presumptuous and to yield to god’s ways over certain matters. Especially in the realm of relationships.

And there’s also a certain change in my personality. Something’s……hardened?

Perhaps more streetwise. More battle-ready. Some issues were ironed out, those that weren’t….well lets just say I’m getting better at masking it with a smile. Good or bad thing? Perhaps both.

And there’s a certain nasty streak. As long as something’s deemed to’ve crossed the line. Especially if the other party’s well aware & recalcitrant. I somehow go into combat/war/attack mode. Where in a not so good way I launch a counter strike at the offending party, often in ways that let them have a taste of their own medicine. Not nice, nor good I know……

Tells you all you need to know about the experiences & hurts I’ve encountered before. And still struggling.

At least now I’ve no desire, not as much as before to conform & be accepted. To remain unique, just as I am. But to be unique also means strengths together with flaws. The full package.

But I’ve had it with been trodden upon. Made to feel like the odd one out, or the joke of the group. Least of all in a safe environment. And sometimes when being nice for too long doesn’t solve the issue….. Time for a shot across the bow. Before the artillery comes their way.

And it only stops when (if necessary) both parties have been damaged to a certain extent. Where the lesson is clear to the other party. Especially with words & deeds.

I’m not to be stepped on, ever again. But I do know this ain’t gonna end well. In fact I know god’s gonna frown at it.

But then again, I’m human ain’t I? Until he does something, or something happens. This is a weakness I’ve.

Ego, to a certain extent self-esteem. I won’t tolerate anybody stepping across the line of making me feel like a freak or the odd one out.

End of rant. I’ve launched a heavy strike on someone close today….. Still feeling the anger even after an hour, but I know the remorse will follow shortly….

Just like batman/Bruce Wayne in Christopher Nolan’s depiction, I’m one step away from being a full scale murderer (rage) even as he tries to keep it in control as Gotham’s protector.

And the friend’s depiction of myself as Loki……well even if its true it still burns within. Why’d such a depiction?

I’m NOT LOKI. I’m hector. I’m not a villain, but don’t push me too far. Or the guns will be loaded. Don’t load the guns or point them towards you. Not gonna end well…….

Rant over

Advertisements