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Just to remind myself:

2 meals: 21km

2 days: 42km

1 week: 100km

No wonder I hit the wall at 49km on Saturday, still feeling pissed off for not completing it.

It felt awful to retire from the race. It was the hardest, most intense and tiring experience of my life yet.

I’ll save the experience sharing for another day, just too drained from it all. In the meantime, I’ll be taking a 18 month break from marathons to recharge after 2 years of back-to-back marathons.

It’s not over, I’ll be back in 2014. I’ve some unfinished business and my kids will one day hear of the story when daddy conquered 100km.

To anyone reading this: this is what 100km looks like.

Don’t let this put you off from trying, but please prepare wisely!!!

=)

One? or zero? or One-zero?

How about one-zero-zero. Not one, nor 10, not even 50. But 100

Seriously, I’ve not felt this kinda fear before. Not since before ‘O’s, nor the night before NS enlistment, not even the first 42km. This kinda fear that tells you your life is in danger, that injury is a likely probability. Sometimes even a formality.

In short, the kinda fear that makes you think: Can I do it??

But thank God for Alvin, for W375, for friends whom encourage me otherwise, pray for safety, completion and finishing this superhuman challenge. And to fight fear, not only do I have to face it, but counter with courage, strength and will.
Checking off the list, clothes, shoes, gels….. What I’ll need the most to finish, courage, belief and most importantly: GOD

I can do this

The normal person sees the impossible and calls it crazy

The crazy person sees the impossible and calls it normal.

So…..which are you? Or shall I say, which am I?

Then again, something to ponder about. hmmmmm

Sparked after receiving all the bewildered and shocked expressions upon hearing my 100km feat.

I did ask for vulnerability.

But this???? From within the family??

And now my future might be under threat too, of all things from my own flesh and blood.

Didnt think it’ll feel this way, a stab in the heart….

Nevertheless, it’ll increase my reliance on God. I still trust you as my father…….

It’s all coming back

Last night’s encounter was reminiscent of those happy days in SOT.

Those days I had nothing but God. But I was happy. Now I’ve some things but not as much of God.

I want HIM more in my life.

There’ve been seeds; seeds sown in each and every one of us that night. Time and again I’ve had many, many dreams which never made sense. But they mean something. Time to start my dream diary?

Speaking of dreams, since last night this image of seeds being thrown from his hands have stuck in my head. Time to find out.

Starting tomorrow

This hiatus is well……

for lack of a better term: killing me slowly!!!

Unbelievable right?

Actually having nothing to do is good, for a time.

Because after a while you do feel the need to make yourself useful and productive again.

Actually the past three weeks revealed some good and bad stuff about myself:

I’m impatient, but it also means I have tremendous drive. There must be something for me to do, if not I’ll actively seek something out myself.

There is more resilience in me than I thought, being able to hold myself still despite having nothing to do….

I have a short recovery span, 2/3 days of rest and I’m fully recharged!!!

And on the spiritual side….. I need to be more still. and be quiet.

Last year was a full onslaught, an intense spiritual fight. This year’s more of a still period. Where everything is slowing down, or so it seems. It’s easier to listen where there ain’t that many things crying out for your attention.

It also means time to move on, and be ready for the next round. Here I come camp!!!

PS: Time to cut down on the I, myself statements. It makes me more ‘self’ orientated subconsciously….. And it’s not exactly pleasant either