Just when you think you’ve had your breakthrough.


One more test has to be passed before it is confirmed. And it hit me like a sledgehammer last night, and it almost ruined the whole outing.


Thank god for his grace (it’s unbelievably hard to keep myself under control, but I still did).


A man’s ego is fragile, it is his weakness. Once it’s shattered. It’ll take time to rebuild, for him to stand up again.

Just as a woman’s heart and feelings are precious to her, the same goes true about his ego.


While threshing things out last night, I was reminded of a vision I saw in SOT.


A gleaming, shining white castle. Beautiful to behold, majestic, mighty and glorious.


And this time God spoke to me: YOU are the castle.


When I was rehashing those LOTR movies and the shot pans to Minas Tirith:

There it was, the white city/castle

The city of kings, city of wisdom, glory, knowledge and strength.


White in all its’ glory, whitewashed and pure. Fair are the citizens whom dwell within.

And in times’ of trouble, need or war:  all will flock to the city/castle. For in it dwells hope, a bastion of strength and courage.


And the mighty walls protect the people, subsistence is provided within. And many are the soldiers guarding the city, stout-hearted they were.

In the LOTR universe, Minas Tirith is Gondor’s capital, the last kingdom of men. The last of the numenoreans, fair strong and noble men. Gone were the glory days of old and it was in decline. But it still remained strong, proud and stubborn. It’s seven tiered walls inspire strength and defensive stubbornness. After all, Minas Tirith means the tower of guard.

But it lacked a king. It lacked leadership. There is courage, yes. There’s also direction, but it lacks will.

Yep, the city reveals my calling, my destiny, my current state.

Not only was Minas Tirith the symbol of military strength, it also represents the economic lifeblood and marketplace of Gondor. The main population center. One decision made here has plenty of influence, and it’s effects are far-reaching.

It reminded of my calling as an economist. I’m waiting for my King’s return.


As the bible mentions: we are only stewards. Stewards of what we are entrusted with.


And even as I type this: This revelation hit me: This life isn’t mine, it’s God-given. For I’m only a steward of it.

As long as the stewards keep what should be kept, and not go overboard in their rule, the city remains prosperous and safe. And stewards are guardians. Protectors of those charged under their care.


This keeps me going, reminds me of my own spirit and strength. What makes me unique.

The elite Tower Guard.  Keeper of the White Tree. Protector and keeper of what’s entrusted to me. The same goes through for anything entrusted to me now or in the future.

Until their King returns

1 Peter 4:10-11

10 Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms. 11 If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen.

The power of common grace.