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This month has been horrible.

If you can bear with all the negativity and angst: carry on. If not: don’t read, what’s written below is not the usual stuff what Hector would blog.

It’s one long slog.

Work, school, home. Running back and fro from place to place.

Trying to keep my finances afloat, my studies up to par, reconciling and bearing the load for mum and sis. Repairing the damage done on them over the past 20 odd years…… Seeing the bunch of hypocrites coming to my place twice weekly with their nonsense and bulls***

And sacrificing my rest, alone time and quiet time.

Exhausted, pissed, frustrated, at the end of myself.

And Economics is not a superficial subject that can be picked up over a day, it needs to be paid attention to and thought over

And now: balancing all that stuff has taken its’ toll…

38.5 degrees, a hacking cough since morning, awful fatigue, a leaking nose and buckets of phlegm.

And I’m amazed, how could I bear all this for such a long time?? I’ve been charging non-stop since march. And finally my body has started to crack and give way.

Well, I dunno if anybody understands. Stopped bothering, just gonna leave it to God now. What else can I do

This is a Job and Joseph moment: suffering for god-knows-what, and being abandoned by his own flesh and blood.

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At least my spiritual family has been more of a family to me than my own flesh and blood. They keep me smiling in the midst of all these. You know who you are people:

Thanks =)

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Been a long day

 

 

 

At least the root is known, so it can be dealt with.

Nothing beats his presence. His love never fails……

 

 

 

The moulding begins: it’s gonna take time, and gonna be painful.

But his grace and love is more than sufficient

 

 

 

A teachable heart, a willing heart.

Time for a reality check.

And self-disciplinary action

The past two weeks have been a shambles, really. Not having the discipline to wake up early, follow through on the things I’ve given my word on. Not even being punctual sometimes…..

And there were occasions where I’ve lost my cool on pet peeves.(such as $$ issues, compounding stuff which adds up and a revealed secret: I can’t hang around in large groups of people for too long, it’ll be draining and eventually pisses me off, especially so when there are people whom don’t ‘get it’ when I need my space)

It’s normal to do that cos we’re human, however:

It ain’t good when it starts to pile up and burn others around. On a more regular basis.

“Alarm bells ringing”

I’m not perfect, I do have a horrific temper which when ignited. Won’t be calmed down easily and it does ‘collateral damage’ to the surroundings (people whom may not ‘get it’)

And I’ve hurt people cos of my temper, I admit.

I won’t try to justify my actions cos it’ll only compound the mess. If you’re reading this and I’ve offended you recently:

I’m Sorry………

Time to go back to basics, time to find back myself, time to find my peace back in him……, and to tame my flesh

perhaps that’s why I’ve been so angsty these days

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It’s that time of the year again:

THE game of the season:

No fear lads, let’s GIVE IT TO THEM.

Remember that no one is invincible, the mancs can be beaten.

Not gonna let their taunts get to us, we’ll do our ‘talking’ on the pitch. Let’s be confident lads!!!

Harry’s gonna be rock & roll awesome tomorrow night

Out

Should I go?

It’s smack in the middle of candlelight service. (14th-23rd December)

And it costs 2K. SIM global citizenship doesn’t come cheap.

Though seeing the itinerary: helping to set up an education system for the local primary school at Nagarkot. Carrying out renovation works there, interacting and playing with the kids (and the chance to hike the mountains/watch a sunrise & sunset in the Himalayas) Really attracted me. Finally an opportunity to be a blessing!!

And even as I type, I’ve felt a burden for the kids there…..

Being salt, and light

Watching the Book of Eli now

AWESOME

Never saw a movie like that, in a nutshell its about a messenger tasked with carrying a book to a safe haven.

Not just any book.

THE BOOK, the last one of its kind. (and received a new revelation about salt & light, will expand more in the review)

Review comin’ up tomorrow: Gotta finish watching it first =P

Cheerios!!!

Just feel so _______

The reunion with pastor nuah yesterday was awesome. And we shared about life, his plans, even the story of how he got attached.

And that story reminded me of what mine could’ve been:

If I had taken action……

Feel so wasted, emo and sad…..

All I can pray and hope for is a second chance. And that she is REALLY the ONE. Time to make a move!!!!

He stands before the horizon

In the quiet of the dark

His sword lies within the sheath.

Like the faith pounding within his heart


Many have come before him,

and faced the same enemy beyond the valley.

But the greatest of them all lies within

Swirling in the place where all battles are won or lost.


Before him lies a battle with an enemy in the flesh,

within himself rages a war of epic proportions

Where he squares off with the single greatest adversary he’s ever faced.

The same face he’s seen in the mirror everyday


Within us all lies the heart of a soldier

but not all of us are born as warriors.

This man is the least likely of them all


He wasn’t trained as a Spartan

nor was he equipped with the best weapons.

Neither is he the most imposing

All he has is courage within.


He takes one look at the enemy

they are imposing, many, fearsome and tall.

He takes a look back:

he sees the people he’s fighting for.


So as dawn breaks,

he puts on his breastplate

Next came his greaves and boots

Then came the vambraces,

and he puts on his helmet.


He lifts up his broad and sturdy shield

To defend an even hardier man from the enemy’s blows.

Finally he draws his sword: Long, sharp, shiny and deadly.

To smite and slash the enemy to the bones.


The enemy mocks at him:

“Look at him!!!” “What a loser!!

“we’re gonna cut him down like hot knife through butter!!”

But in his heart of hearts. He knows it doesn’t matter


With a thunderous blow of the horn,

the warrior roars his battle cry:

With faith, courage and strength.

he punches his shield to the sky, slams his sword against it


As the valley starts to echo his roar and the slams of his sword

The enemy begin to quiver in their feet:

“weren’t there only one of them?”

‘How can one man’s roar echo like the thousands??’


One last look at the people he’s fighting for,

in their minds he is their hero.

But no

in his mind. He faces the enemy for them

It is their faith in him that drives him

Because of their belief, he can shake mountains

cast down mighty armies.

And for that, he will lay down his life for them

Without them, he is nothing.


It is clear without a shadow of doubt.

Those behind him are his heroes.

Now he looks forward, shield in his left, sword on his right.

He charges forth, not for glory, not for victory.

But for his people.


The very same men who’ve faced off the same battles: and won.

Real or imaginary-

And are still winning.


David

Prince Hector of Troy


Aragorn


Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg

Steven Gerrard


Jake Sully

The Master Chief – John 117

They have faced overwhelming odds. And they’ve won, not necessarily in the absolute where it can be counted. They’ve won a place in the hearts and minds of many: Those fighting the same battles daily in their lives.

Theses men are heroes in their eyes. But in these men’s lives their heroes are the very people, causes and beliefs they fought for.


David-The Kingdom of Israel

He faced off Goliath

Prince Hector- The doomed city of Troy

The only man to stand against Achilles. The pillar of his nation

Aragorn-The free Peoples of Middle Earth

He faced the hordes of sauron

Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg-The Jews and the people oppressed by the Nazis

The man who stood up to Hitler

Steven Gerrard-Liverpool Football Club


The captain whom keeps going despite being 3-0 down against the best club team in the world at the time in the greatest stage of all

Jake Sully-The Na’vi

He fought for his adopted Peoples against the tyranny of his own race

Master Chief-The human race

The only soldier who keeps fighting against an innumerable enemy, and becoming the deadliest enemy the covenant has ever faced

They are his inspirations.

This warrior writes, and confesses in his heart, that many are the people who are with him, the very ones who lift him up when he is down, believed in him when nobody else would. Cheered him on when everybody else jeered. With them by his side, they form the majority.

They are his heroes.


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Psalm 15

A psalm of David.

1 LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?

2 He whose walk is blameless
and who does what is righteous,
who speaks the truth from his heart

3 and has no slander on his tongue,
who does his neighbor no wrong
and casts no slur on his fellowman,

4 who despises a vile man
but honors those who fear the LORD,
who keeps his oath
even when it hurts,

5 who lends his money without usury
and does not accept a bribe against the innocent.
He who does these things
will never be shaken
.

Felt the lord speak this directly into my heart while running today.

So many times as I came to terms with post-SOT life, how to be a blessing to others?

Be an encouragement, but using the gifts, talents and anointing I’ve been given?

So many visions I’ve received, about situations, about different people.

But all that only comes when your relationship is strong.

And how to maintain that relationship? Simple

Imagine God as a love interest, date him every day

Give him your time, your best, your devotion.

Run to him in times of need, share your joy, sorrows, frets, dreams,emotions and angst with him.

And he will speak to you, he will minister to you.

And as you chase him, all the things you desire and need in your life will start to chase you.

That is why our God is so great, he is love.

And all he asks is your obedience.

Keep the word, be the man/woman in psalms 15, that righteous man.

Even when you fall, be like David, run back to him, correct your ways quickly.

And you’ll be okay.

Cheers!!! =)

It was unbelievable

 

A prophet amongst us has left…… and God has indeed saved his best for the last.

 

He spoke into our lives just before he left……revealed to us many mysteries, words of wisdom and knowledge of our future. For Jesher, Alvin, Janice, Malcolm, Wan Teng, Myself, Eugene and Joyce……

 

Our callings, our gifts, what we were meant to do, even the specific timings of our blessings, anointings. Promises that he’s set aside for us. Even our innermost hurts, fears and stuff…..

 

And right there, even at the airport, we cried, felt the presence and love of God so strongly there and then. We can’t help but weep..

 

And that was his parting gift: Huihui’s not the most vocal person in the world, he’s no extrovert. But when he speaks, when he preaches…… my god!!!!

 

He’s easily the most anointed preacher we’ve, I’ve ever met in my life. And he’s an appointed prophet..And forgive me for saying this, he is the most special man I’ve ever met in my life, one that is so close to the spirit, to God himself.

This is my tribute to him, a most special preacher, a humble man of God. And he WILL bring revival in Hangzhou, thousands will be saved because of him. And he was our classmate, he is my friend.

I’m so happy and proud to’ve met him in my time at SOT…Miss you Huihui

We’ll meet again soon!!! Either at Hangzhou or back in Singapore for Asia Conference 2012.