This is an angsty, let-steam out post here. Warning: Alot of frustration ahead.

Failed my M5 today. Just missed by abt 5 marks!!! And found out last min that the passing mark is 75/100.  And what really pisses me off is that a retake’s gonna set me back by $107. And I’ve to clear that before taking my M9 and undergo training with SP-CO.

And there’s a mountain of bills, personal expenses and other stuff I’ve to plan that needs cash too!!! Unpaid stuff like CPF, having a dad which opposes my attending of SOT and church (massive spiritual warfare started ever since Pastor Mike’s deliverance lesson ended).

Personally, anyone who tells me that poverty is good will get a good smack on the head from me: What on earth is good about poverty? Keeps you humble?? Wake up, this is not a fantasy world or a blissful utopia where there is no need for cash. How’d you like it if you’re at the mercy of creditors/banks hounding you for money?? I’d rather be the lender than a borrower for a change.Without $$$ there’s plenty of stuff that can’t be done: How do you support your family? Pay for your education? Maintain a relationship? Do the things you like? Go on missions etc?

You can plan all you want for the future, but as long as there’s no $$ to back you up, it’ll simply remain just that: pipe dreams

All the more I’m more determined than ever to break through and excel with AIA. I’m sick of being poor. It’s a needless state to be in and by the time I graduate, by faith I’ll have the funds not just enough to sustain my family, but to have an abundance. And be able to settle down and provide for my spouse and kids (by the age of 30).

Ok, all the crap’s out.

And yeah, mission trip to Medan has been changed to Aug 5-10th. Just booked the return flight. Be back in the morning. Until then, more tests, assignments, work, and other stuff.

My next post will be positive, I promise =)