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Finally

Preaching test is over!!!

Four days of preparing messages, searching for verses, burning the midnight oil. 2-3 hours of sleep a day and power preaching for 7 mins daily. Woah, it’s over at last.

Sure feels great to preach and humbled by every chance to speak from the pulpit. And what’s interesting and funny is seeing everybody’s style and creativity coming through, lol!!!

(Think steve munsey from Jesh, worship cum benny hinn from Alvin, ABCs and XYZs from Eileen and Janice, John Bevere from myself, Joyce Meyer from Joyce [such a cliche, I know] )

Alright, back to the point of the post: Gonna segregate this to the past, future and the present.

Past:

Met up with Ivan, Randy and Derrick 3 days ago for break: Shocked to find the state of UNI going from bad to worse: especially since April!!! Company revenue literally falling like a brick, and worse still: the management starting to go berserk in treating their staff. Entire teams of staff have left with many colleagues like R receiving the pink slip, and D preparing to leave next week.

Oversaturation of programmes produced, especially flooding the oil & gas sector. Teams literally fighting it out for dwindling sales and management penalizing the staff for lack of sales. How do you punish staff for not making sales when they’re forced to call the same departments and managers/engineers at the same time? Then you go dismissing the experienced core of the sales staff and expect the new staff to jump in and produce sales?? What happened to common sense?

Saddening part was this happened after I left the place. Now I know why I felt led to leave UNI for SOT. Anyway, pray that the management come to their senses asap. Especially for Jayden and Lara needing to produce revenue for their teams…

Present:

Just when I thought that weakness in my life was getting better: BAM, got hit and provoked by comments again….Well, it’s no secret I do get pissed off at careless remarks made, especially when it comes to work. I’m dead serious when work comes.

Then again: if the same thing keeps happening again and again, isn’t it clear that a lesson remains to be learnt and a test to be passed?

Provocation will always come. People are different. One man’s meat is another man’s poison. It’s a clear sign I haven’t really changed my attitude when it comes to accepting differences in people. Sigh, gotta buck up and be more patient. Especially if I want to be a loving leader over lives.

The revelation from Nehemiah 4 clearly isn’t coincidence also: If the walls of my heart aren’t fortified, attacks can still come in and penetrate and do damage isn’t it? Strength, self-control from all those damaging thoughts and words, learning to self-censor my words, thoughts, actions and motives were the first step. Now accepting the differences in others without compromising my values and work ethics seem to be next.

On a plus side: at least dad’s nicer these days. Tension’s gone down and it feels better speaking to him without the usual clash of egos for a change.

Anyway, I really need a breakthrough in this area with people. Need to humble myself again….

Future:

I’m already seeing myself graduating from SOT. Things are gonna change BIG TIME.

First, the very first thing I learnt is to multi-task. Not to be so overwhelmed by loads of work. Gonna juggle between Econs degree with AIA, making appointments and closing cases. Family, friends, ministry, any future relationships, personal time/goals, quiet tim etc. In other words, not to think so much and focus on the task at hand. And keeping my joy and optimism intact

Planning ahead has always been my forte, strategic planning, step by step, from UOL to masters, improving relations with my family, making progress on my personal growth (strength, courage, self-control), focusing on my ministry gifts as a teacher/prophet. Even having a ten-year plan from now: degree, masters, marriage, family, calling, etc etc. Yep, I’m a visionary at heart.

But I know there’s immense tests and struggles that are yet to come. For something so great and glorious to come will come greater trials than ever before. And this is simply a trial run. Gonna wrestle with myself, disciplining myself like never before and leaning more on God as the years go by. And this time, there’ll be people lined up to test my self-control, strength and patience. And still loving them despite everything that may happen.

To think things will slow down after preaching test, wishful thinking.

5 more assignments, 5 sermon outlines, mission trip and tests, M5 & M9 to clear before contracting with AIA, Part-time work and the list goes on…..

That’s life Hector, you gotta get used to it. If you want the prize you gotta pay the price

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Oh-kay

Time to list this down before it slips off my head – again.

To-do list:

1: A lifetime of research, especially the word. It’s application in lives of people. And bringing the word to life, making it practical, logical and realistic. (Also to add the oomph factor, especially for all the agnostics, atheists whom need to see proof that God is real)

2: Writing an expository sermon on Nehemiah, especially chapters 3-6. On defences, countering deception, courage and fortitude in trials and resisting attempts to frighten/discourage.

Why?

Because once they’ve seen you conquer and rebuild the fortification, there’s no way to assault directly into your heart anymore.

And that’s why they’re doing all they can to stop you now, before it’s too late.

3: Another sermon on Esther, also on dealing with enemies. When they plot against you, they’re indirectly digging their own grave.

Proof? Look at the story of Haman plotting against Esther and her father Mordecai. As it ends: Haman was hung from the very gallows he made to hang Mordecai

4: After today’s sermon on father’s day……Well, our earthly fathers do make mistakes. Especially my own.

I’m gonna pour out my heart in the next few lines: In fact it takes a brave soul to even reveal his underbelly, his dark past on a public blog like this. But then again: why hide? There’s a reason I’m revealing this too, to encourage those out there whom have a problem with their own fathers.

Especially in the area of unforgiveness, bitterness.

First up, let me expound into men, their very nature. Why? Cause I’m one myself. By nature, we’re territorial, aggressive beings. Hunters, warriors, fighters. We’ve a pretty short fuse and when things don’t go the way we want it:

Armageddon, world war three, volcanic eruption of catastrophic proportions occur

Okay, exaggerating a tad here but you get the point? Men are like that!! we need to see results, acting hard, cold, tough when we’re actually afraid to reveal our soft sides. This is especially true in Asian cultures, where the man must stand strong.

Don’t get me wrong: yes, men must be strong. But there is a time and place for that too!! Knowing when to be gentle and soft, and when to be firm and tough!!! This is especially critical in the realm of relationships and families. It’s precisely because of this I’ve been affected, and stunted in emotional growth, anger/temper problems and self-centeredness in my growing years.

And I’ve struggled with unforgiveness with my dad for years. There were horrific encounters with him, especially as a young boy..

I’m gonna list down some of them, but please, don’t hold anything against my dad: It was the past

1: An incident with the chopper when I was 8

2: Having my schoolbag thrown off the balcony when I was 9

3: Constantly subject to blasts of temper from 7-15

4: Facing an oppressive, tense and unloving environment throughout my youth

5: Him banging against my door and threatening to break in, shouting threats while engaged in conference prayer with J & A this year. It was so terrifying that I wept, yes, a 22-year-old man can weep because of fear from his dad.

Plenty of reasons to be bitter and unforgiving, doesn’t it?

Well, I choose to forgive, and to forget. Like Joseph. Why bother? It’s in my past now. And Jesus has given me a new life to walk in and the old man has passed away, freely embracing the new man prepared for my life.

Please, everyone out there, learn to forgive and let go. Why bother killing yourself over wrongs done in your life? Nobody’s perfect.

And once you’ve truly let go: I promise you, there’ll be real liberty. A fresh hope, joy and love for people will come into your heart. And what’s beautiful is also that you won’t keep any offence in your heart anymore, what’s the point? Why bother remembering the things that hurt you?

It’s painful, I know. After all it took me an encounter and real love for my dad to let him go despite all those horrible things. And I know that he loves me, and I love him too. Like how Jesus loves people, even the mockers, those who hated him, those who betrayed and killed him. Be brave, forgive anyone who has trespassed you, love them. After all, God still loves you despite all of your trespasses.

What’s the point of being right, when you can still be wrong? Winning the argument, and losing friendships/relationships in the process? I see so many  intellectuals, successful men and women. Being so correct logically, ending up being lonely and depressed. All because of pride, unforgiveness, unwilling to love and give in.

In the words of a strategist, gaining a tactical victory and conceding a strategic loss. (winning the battle but losing the war in layman terms)

Everyone out there reading this, please, learn to forgive…..everyone who has trespassed against you. I know you can do it, because I have, and I’ll still press in. I won’t give up on people, especially my dad despite all that he has done.

And the key to forgiveness: forget also!!!! Throw away every negative and painful experience. And if you’re christian, trust it upon the Lord!!! Choose to remember no more and love/bless them!!!

It may take time, months, years even. Learn to forgive and let go, step by step.

You can do it


Anyway, been receiving revelation after revelation the last 3 days, really fruitful too!! For once I’m able to focus and press in, created a whole new sermon on prosperity: from a completely new perspective too!!

And revelation also means: revealing, unveiling of whatever’s hidden. A gift of knowledge granted by a higher power.

Okay, enough talk, back to sermon prep: 4 more outlines to go!!!!

Be fruitful

PEAKS profile

If there’s one thing that burdens me with people out there:

It’s the lack of a clear vision in their lives. Without vision people wonder, without vision people regress.

Imagine all that unrealised potential hidden inside each and every one of us. If only we could somehow wake up every sleeper within. The world would have infinite possibilities for change.

Great change, improving lives everywhere.

There’s this vision birthed forth within me since April: Setting up an economic consultancy, to specialize in various industries and consult every major corporation/government with important decisions, directions and setting of clear goals for them. And making them happen.

I see universities, institutions, boardrooms and convention centers. Thousands, maybe millions of youths getting a clear vision of their lives, living out their dreams through the organization i will lead. Planting hope in the lives of millions, making sure their dreams come to pass, a way out of poverty through education and support.

And this is the craziest, wackiest dream I’ve ever conceived. All thanks to Alvin!!! Someday I’ll buy over LFC. And this time, I’ll dedicate significant resources for the management. Seeing it grow from glory to glory, never again will there be any lack!! When the time has come, this family will be another source of hope and inspiration for millions worldwide, to do great works, to be a shining light for youths everywhere.

And it’ll be owned for the people, by the people. I’ll just be a steward of this family of hope and joy.

You’ll never walk alone

In a super pensive mood right now.

After reflecting on 2010 so far, so much has happened. Being built up, fortified in my faith. Broken in areas of weakness, strengthened by his grace. And the privilege of a plethora of experiences in the past 5.5 months.

Building up a moderately successful career before God asked me to leave, and to set my life straight

From a brash ‘act first think later’ attitude to a careful one of watching my words and thoughts before actually letting ém through

Building an intimate relationship with the holy spirit

Realizing some of the hidden potential and gifts that lie within, both natural and physical

Seeing some impossible things happen during SOT, and more that is to come

Learning to be a more people person than before, and somehow bumping into more annoying and provocative people around (Or perhaps I’m just too sensitive)

That gift of prophecy, foresight, to read into situations, to write, that thirst for gathering knowledge, collating and re-presenting it from another perspective, the raw drive, that never give up, uncompromising and battle-readiness for any fight personality trait. What has been added unto me the last 8 months

Time for a stock-take, Let’s make the last 2.5 months of SOT count, mean something, leave an impact into lives out there.

And while finishing up the book on Foundational truths, came upon this verse.

Luke 12:48

For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required; and to whom much has been committed, of him they will ask the more.

It’s about time I gave something back to the body of christ.

Haha, seriously won’t be surprised if this is the rhema word for all SOT grads

And yes, oddly enough from a football fanatic: I don’t really look forward to this edition of World cup. My appetite for football has went down of late……Partly cause of what happened to Liverpool perhaps, or just that there’s other pressing concerns to attend to.

Either way: It’ll make up somewhat to see either Gerrard/Mascherano/Torres or Lahm lift the World cup in July 11

All I ask for is a better 2010/11 season. And I speak in the 4th dimension that Gerrard, Torres, Mascherano will NOT LEAVE.

Defy the critics, defy the papers, that’s what they think/want. Rumours are just that: rumours

Can’t sleep

At least not while there’s work to be done.

Dad has left for Japan, meaning I have the house all to myself. Now I can pray in peace, prepare my work and a break from all those snide comments on sot and the church.

Even as I type this, P&W is blasting from my iTunes. My spiritual fuel when doing all those reviews and getting inspiration on sermon outlines.

Now I truly understand what all preachers, pastors, Zone supervisors and CGLs go through when it comes to preparing sermons. Taking care of the sheep, making sure their needs are met, preparing fresh bread, ensuring hydration through the holy spirit’s presence. And balancing their own lives, having their needs met by God. And maintaining their close relationships with the lord himself.

It’s no easy task, but even then. He reminds me, reminds us that it is impossible to do all that without him.


Even on outing today, had all those crazy ideas for sermon outlines: After that special encounter last thursday, I’ve sorted out my sermon about the holy spirit. And seeing all those ads competing for attention: another sermon idea flew in my head

The spiritual firewall: How to screen and protect your heart and mind from conflicting thoughts from the enemy. And dealing with your own doubts and fears

Overcoming, the paths and the reward for those who endure: The book of revelations 2-3 speaks about John’s messages to the seven churches of Asia. On the need to watch and guard against our actions. And the rewards to come for those whom overcome

Those who have an ear, let him hear.

And yes, that’s just two ideas, there’s definitely more to come.

Two more weeks to go: preaching test is coming!!!

And mission trip right after my 23rd birthday: July 22nd-25th in Jakarta

Gonna douse the whole place with the spirit in a fortnight.

If there is just one thing I can ask of you lord: Wisdom and knowledge of Solomon

With wisdom he governed the nation of Israel

With wisdom he made peace with all of Israel’s enemies

With wisdom he led Israel into its’ most prosperous age

With wisdom he acquired immense riches and bore fruitfulness

With wisdom he left behind a lasting legacy which will endure to the end of time: Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Solomon


Let me do it with you Lord. Let me see the great things done by you, starting in Indonesia


Another hectic week, more explosive revelations revealed.

and if it sounds out of this world, I make no apologies. Cos it’s really that intense, for lack of a better description.

Now going through the sermon on the mount, my heart is now subject to test after test, painful circumcision after painful circumcision. I’ve officially come to a crossroad in my time here:

It’s impossible to lean on my own strength now: Living entirely on his grace and strength

Otherwise, how else to explain that encounter on thursday morning?

Unbelievable it may seem, but I spoke with the holy spirit face to face. He came in the form of a handsome, young man with a bright countenance. Always smiling, and he just came into the room when I was struggling to move my body to do quiet time. Well, was half asleep at the time, but his presence was so reassuring, comforting, and had a brief conversation with him.

And he knew the matters that were troubling me, he knew my heart, and he answered them without me saying anything……..

Conviction came upon myself after that, was so determined to seek him in the secret place after that. That’s how I received the revelation through Nehemiah 4.  Keeping your weapon ready to fend off the enemy while working.

Fitting for many of us don’t you think?

Now I understand these verses fully: Matthew 5:4 and Matthew 5:8

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted

Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.


Meekness: humility with respect and gentleness. Yeah I know, sounds unlike me, the old me that is.

Time to kill that old self, the old Kok Ann, and let the new Hector John arise. No more going back to the old ways any longer.

It’s gonna be tough, painful

But if it has to be done, let it be your will, not mine


Alright, before going to sleep let’s put this down as quickly as I can:

What a revelation today’s turned out to be!!!

Had a good chat with Alvin and Jo about stuff, life, things that have gone and things that are yet to be. So much to share, to laugh about, the good old days when we were young and innocent.

Oh what good times they were!!

Current updates? Well, more or less the same, SOT’s really starting to heat up. The financial pinch is really beginning to hurt and now the long-awaited mission trip listing is out.

I’ve always wanted to go to Indonesia for ministry, well, let’s just say God’s goodness is limitless: 80% of the trips this time are based there!!

And yes, isn’t it wondrous even in times of fellowship. We can help each other unearth talents and nuggets of wisdom within us? The people all around us are like mirrors. The reflection of yourself is shown in them. How one behaves towards everybody is reflected by their reciprocal actions and words. Which is why I value transparency so much in friendship, there shouldn’t be anything to hide in a close, genuine relationship!!

And thanks to both Alvin and Jo, I’ve discovered a gift within me that I’ve overlooked for years. The gift of writing and language composition.

Or yeah, perhaps there is a best selling author/economic writer hidden somewhere within me that’s waiting to be awakened? Now a whole window of opportunities and adventures are suddenly opened with this new revelation!!

Seriously, friends like them both are worth their weight in gold. Thank God for them both in my spiritual family!! =)

And speaking of family……To those out there starting this whole hooha against our church, our family. I have this to say:

Whatever happens nothing’s gonna change my commitment to the church and spiritual family. The critics can say what they want but I don’t care about what they say, their comments don’t matter. After all, when your family member’s attacked what do you do: turn your back on them and join the accusers? Hello, wake up. Will you do that to your own family members? Seriously, you’ll protect and defend them. Even if they’re in the wrong, what gives you the right to actually attack and ridicule them? Get your facts right before making reckless accusations against people. How would you like it if you’re the one being accused before proven guilty?

To quote the parable from John 8:7-11

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.” Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Well, before you carry on with those accusations: think again, reflect on yourselves, the truth will stand out in the end.

And if they still press their case: two more verses for them (especially if they’re fellow believers):

1st Corinthians 13:13

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

This keeps us going, and is the main reason why we’re christians in the first place

Ephesians 5:12-13

For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. But everything exposed by the light becomes visible,

And if they still say we’re deluded and irrational. All I can say is everything done in secret will come to light. And that includes whomever started all this in the first place.

So: what goes around comes around. That includes all the talebearers and rumour mongers out there.

=)