A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders today.

After leaving UNI, felt set free. In a sense I can completely focus 150% on God, though I do have fond memories of the place and the bell of victory:


The final ring.

Everytime we close any deal, we’ll ring the bell as a celebration. An occasion of joy =) And I’ll always remember the 8 times ringing it.

Now, SOT!!!!

This is team 20, the hyped-up prayer commandos from MY, JE zones and China! The house of God is home now, so many revelations, comfort, joy and secrets are waiting to be unlocked here. It’s been revelation after revelation, breakthrough after breakthrough here after 3 weeks in SOT. So much more to come!!!

And once again, true joy can be found in helping others grow. So many times I do wonder why I went through all that suffering since young:

Constantly singled out and being bullied just for being different in school, the armed forces, for a total of 12 years

Living in a normal  family turned dysfunctional for the last 13 years

Failure to attain goals I’ve set for myself for years. Underachieving since secondary school when it was clear to everyone else of the kind of potential I had.

Suffering from anger problems, self-image and confidence issues which took me until this January to break through

Only recently did I realise why I suffered, to build my character up. To be a rock for others to lie back on. Ever since the start of SOT a number of friends have came to me with issues. And eerily enough those issues are no stranger to me. As I’ve walked that path before. Teaching others, guiding them back, Showing care and love, being there for them, never giving up on them, being faithful and courageous for them and passing on that spirit and gift of faith for them.

And also: if not for all that I’ve taken, would I develop the courage? The Iron-will? Determination? Coolness under pressure and composure? And the sheer drive and confidence to keep charging forward despite all that has happened?

Only you can decide what happens next. After all God has given us all a choice: to follow him or not at all.

I may not totally understand how others find their joy, at least I know how to find mine: Seeing others lifted up, defending and fighting for them, dying for them. Seeing them achieve their victories and finding their joy.

It all begins with a choice. I’ve decided never to fall prey ever again. Never to be beaten back by any adversary or foe. Even if they take me, I’ll drag them down to hell with me. (Pardon the extreme language =), there’s no better way to put it across). So what are you waiting for? The choice is yours, make the decision to change and never look back. He will help you change from within.

=)

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